S.O. and I were talking the other night about some of the BIG decisions that we [more him than me because now my life consists of working five days a week and then attempting to have a life on the weekends] have to make in the near future. S.O. is looking to buy a car, deciding where to do an internship, and what direction he wants to go once he goes to law school and I’m well…yeah so I am not making any big decisions right now.
In talking about these things and S.O. sharing his thoughts on how he is going to make these decisions and me putting in my two bits [like I always do] I came to the realization that S.O. and I make decisions differently. Shocker huh?
I know it sounds silly but it hadn’t ever really crossed my mind that someone might go about making a decision the same way I do. When you start to get to know another person much more intimately you begin to notice these differences. Differences that you never would have noticed if you hadn’t been having that “deep conversation.”
I am learning that I need to be better about NOT pushing my thoughts and my processes on others. They have their own process and I am sure they would tell me that it has been working great for them for years! Just because an individual goes about making decisions differently doesn’t mean that those decisions aren’t good ones.
I completely trust S.O. to make wise decisions and I realized that when I push my process onto him I am sending the message that I don’t trust him doing it his way. Which is totally false.
First step recognition. Second step change. I am moving onto step two.