Sneezing Malfunction

I had a sneezing mishap the other day. I felt a sneeze coming on and I could tell that it was going to be a loud one. You know how you can tell when your sneeze is either going to go barely noticed and when it is going to make everyone in the office jump. This was a make people jump sneeze.

In an effort to not disturb my co-workers I tried to do the quiet sneeze. You know the kind. The kind where you tightly press your lips together, forcing most of the pressure out of your nose, decreasing noise but not really making your nose feel all that great.

Well the monster of the sneeze came. I tried for the quiet sneeze and FAILED. Instead of a tightly pressed upper lip both of my lips went a flapping which ended up making a REALLY LOUD spitting noise. Yeah that is right a spitting noise. Like when you play with a baby and you vibrate your lips to make the baby smile [I have come to the conclusion that the baby smiles not because of the sound but because WE look like complete idiots when we do it] anywho…I totally made this noise when I sneezed and it was loud and subsequently spit went everywhere. Don’t worry I was alone in my cubicle so I only showered my desk and surrounding office supplies. It’s my cubicle. It’s my spit. No big deal.

The part that was a big deal was the fact that not only did a make my whole office jump at the sound but I sounded like an idiot who didn’t know how to sneeze. I am sure everyone was wondering why my sneeze had malfunctioned. Answer: attempting to do the quiet sneeze. Lesson Learned: You sound much less like an idiot when you just let em fly!